Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The 'Middle Wife'
by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-gradeclassroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessionswith my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show-and-tellis pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures offish they catch, things like that, and I never, ever place any boundariesor limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talkabout it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing child, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with apillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.
She's standing there with her hands on thepillow and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!'
Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.
Mom walked around the housefor, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'
Now this kid is doing a hysterical duckwalk and groaning.
My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Pizza Hut man. They got my Mom to lie down inbed like this.
Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there incase he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!
This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming waterflowing away. It was too much!
Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another'Middle-Wife' comes along.
Monday, May 26, 2008
WARNING: It is long!! (but so was the labor!)
Sunday, May 25, 2008
It is funny because every time I try to give her a bottle and she refuses I end up with breastmilk left over. I put it in Elijah's sippy cup and call it "special milk." He smacks his lips and says "I like this special milk. It's yummy!"
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Big Boy Bed--hasn't gotten out or fallen out since that first night. He goes right to bed with no fuss. We even set up the crib yesterday for Lydia and he wasn't upset. He said he doesn't need a crib, he's a big boy now. Last night he slept through with no getting up or waking up at all!!
Only 2 accidents this week! One was at McDonalds in the play yard where he was just so caught up in running around he forgot. The other was over a long nap. I would say he is officially potty trained.
Lydia is doing great. Last night was her first night in her crib. She's cooing and laughing and smiling. She is good natured unless she is wet or hungry or tired. She is a beast at night like Elijah was. So much for Baby Wise working to get her to sleep better at night :( I just don't make sleepers!! She is fantastic during the day though and we have a great routine set up. She literally rolls with the punches :) Elijah tries to be gentile but it doesn't always work :)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
This morning he didn't even climb out of the bed. He just called for us like he did from his crib. I don't think it has occured to him that he doesn't have to stay put. I am sure he'll figure it out soon enough.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
- We started by unpacking a potty Elijah picked out himself and letting Elijah go shopping to pick out big boy underpants.
- He said he didn't want to wear diapers so we made a big deal of packing up the diapers (we use cloth during the day) and washing and putting all the big boy underpants in the drawer.
- We set a timer (ours is a dog with a timer in its belly) for every hour.
- Elijah gets up and has breakfast in his diaper from overnight. This keeps us from starting the day with a battle. Elijah is normally grumpy in the morning until he has something to eat.
- We get dressed after breakfast and we sit him on the potty to try and go poo-poo and then let him stand and shoot a cheerio to go pee. He gets a lucky charms marshmellow just for trying. He gets two more if he pees and two more if he poops.
- We set the timer dog for one hour.
- If we go anywhere (like the gym) he has to try and go potty before we go. We also try as soon as we get home from anywhere. We have a fold up potty seat for emergencies when we go out but we try and avoid that if possible.
- When timer dog goes off he has to stop what he's doing and go immediately. This is the hardest part. He doesn't want to stop. If he pees then timer dog goes on for another hour. If he doesn't pee then we go for another 20 minutes. Marshmellow rewards just for trying.
- We do this all day. Elijah is in a pull up at naptime and a diaper at bedtime.
- If he has an accident: We are cheerful and go and try and finish at the potty. (He doesn't get out of the potty trip if he has an accident). We change the clothes. That's it--no big fuss at all. I don't want him to be ashamed--he is just learning.
- He didn't want to go pooo in the potty and he held it in for 2 days. I was worried he would get constipated so I told him he could go in his pull up or his diaper. He did for one day and then decided he wanted to use the potty instead.
After about 3 days he started telling me when he had to go. After 5 days we got rid of the timer dog. I will let him go up to 2 hours without making him go. Normally he will tell me when he has to pee. If he is playing really hard though I will remind him.
We weren't accident free at the zoo but that was because there were only three bathrooms. We anticipated that and put him in a diaper. Other than that we haven't had any accidents since Friday!
Good luck with your journey!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Justin got home and Lydia was screaming and nursing and screaming again. She was really hurting. Elijah was still upset but he wasn't crying. Justin got Elijah and took over with him and I put Lydia in the car and headed to Target for some Tylenol. I dosed her up then wheeled her around because the motion in the cart seemed to calm her. We got back home and I took another nap with her--same deal--pressed against me nursing the whole time. After about an hour and a half we got up and made dinner. The tylenol seemed to help and she sat in her bouncy seat the whole dinner. She started whimpering again and I have been nursing and typing for about 30 minutes now. I just layed her down and she is asleep alone in her bassinet. I hope she'll last an hour or so until I can give her some more Tylenol.
Days like this I wonder if I am spoiling her. We have been strict about the whole nursing to sleep thing but she hasn't been sick or hurting yet. I am fully aware that on Friday (when the soreness should have passed) I may have a spoiled baby on my hands but I don't care a bit!! She needs me, mama milk makes everything better and she's only little once! She will not need to nurse all night long when she goes off to college so I am fine with it. Saturday and Sunday we will have Justin here to help if she's cranky getting back on her routine. Monday we are going to the Zoo for a family trip so her mind should be off of it. By next week this time we should be back on track! Sometimes I wonder what bottle feeding mama's do? Is cuddling enough? I can't imagine it! So much of our bond is breast feeding.
Some positives about the day . . .
Lydia is 10lbs 9 oz (a full 1 lb 3 oz heavier than 3 weeks ago)
She is 22 inches long (3/4 in longer than 3 weeks ago)
Elijah made it to Clayton and back in big boy underpants and we didn't have any accidents! He peed before we left the house, when we got to the doctor, when we left the doctor and before his nap! What a champ!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Here's two Elijah funnys from this week at granny and grampys:
Elijah: "Mom--Look a Bagel!"
Me: "A Bagel? Where?"
Elijah: "That bird, right there--a bagel!" (he was pointing to a seagull decoy my dad has).
Elijah: "Bampy, I want the pelican!"
Grampy: "What pelican?"
Elijah: "That red pelican, there!" (he was pointing to a skeleton model on a red base my mom had gotten from the attic)
I think it is too funny that he remembers part of a word and not all of it so he substitutes another similar word. What a cutie!
Friday, May 09, 2008
I am off to bed myself since hubby doesn't get home until tomorow afternoon. Since EJ went to bed at 6pm (he didn't take a nap today and was up bright and early) and Lydia fought with me for oven an hour--it is shaping up to be a rough night and an early morning. Hopefully we can all grab a nap together tomorrow afternoon so we are refreshed when daddy comes home!
We got home tonight and unpacked Elijah's new potty. He saw it and immediately wanted to try it out. Immediately meaning we took his pants off in the living room where I had just taken it out of the box and he peed in it. My mom and I cheered him on about it and gave him a mini-marshmellow (the kind like you get in lucky charms). He proceeded to throw a fit because he wanted more marshmellows. We steered him clear of that and left him bottomless. About a half hour later he said he had to pee again, he did it in the potty and we gave him another marshmellow. Ahhh--nothing like a little bribery/reward! Hopefully this potty training will go quickly. He told me tonight he didn't want to wear a diaper to bed. I told him he had to but that tomorrow he could wear his big boy underpants. We went this week and bought some at Target. So I am waiting for the underpants to finish in the dryer and then heading to bed. We'll see how many times I have to change his clothes tomorrow! We had planned to start with the potty training on Monday but Elijah is insiting we start tomorrow. I am ready to give it a shot--the fewer diapers I have to change the better!
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Monday, May 05, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
My husband decided to call in to work to stay home with me and we sent Elijah off at about 8am. At 9am I lost my mucus plug and had some bloody show and we decided to go ahead and make up the bed and get ready for the day. We decided to take a walk to try and speed things along. The contractions increased in duration and intensity during the walk and were coming 4-6 minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds to a minute. As soon as we returned home however, the contractions spaced out again and were coming about 15 minutes apart. They were still pretty mild and I was able to talk and walk through all of them. At about 11:30 I decided to try and take a nap in case the labor continued throughout the night. I was able to sleep almost 2 hours, incorporating the contractions into my dreams.
After waking up from my nap and having a light snack, we decided to take another nice long walk and see if that helped. The contractions were getting more and more painful and I wasn’t able to talk or walk through most of them. We walked another 3 miles and the contractions got down to about 4-5 minutes apart. I was really excited that the baby might be born overnight. We called the midwife to give her an update when we got home. She was already out doing a postpartum visit and suggested that she stop by and check me and make sure things were actually moving along like we were hoping.
The midwife showed up at 6pm and checked me. I was only 4 cm dialated. I was pretty discouraged, but she told me that everything looked great, the baby sounded great and that I should try and rest. She also suggested that if things were still going like this in the morning we might try some herbs like blue and black cohash to get things moving. After she left we called and made arrangements for Elijah to spend the night at his uncle’s house and go to his Nana’s in the morning.
After trying to sleep for several hours I gave up. The contractions were really strong and really painful. I tried to distract myself with TV and let my hubby sleep. By 3am they hurt so bad I decided to try a warm bath. The bath didn’t help much so I woke up hubby and asked him to help me. He was awesome! He helped me try several different positions and distracted me in-between contractions. At this point they were coming about 7 minutes apart. At 4 am I called the midwife and told her I really needed her to come. I was concerned because the contractions were all in the front and I had back labor with my first. I didn’t know if they were stronger or what. My biggest fear was waiting too long to call her and having the baby at home without her there.
The midwife and her assistant got to the house at about 5:30am. The midwife checked me and I was still 4cm. I almost cried!! A whole night of agony for nothing!! She assured me that I was progressing and that I was more effaced and thinned out than I had been the night before.
As soon as daylight hit, we decided to go for a walk. Since the baby was so low we could only go about a mile at a time before I had to come in and go to the bathroom. The poor neighbors must have been totally freaked out!! Here I was, full term, stopping every two houses or so and having contractions while leaning on my husband and moaning. I know they were thinking—“Why doesn’t that crazy girl just go to the hospital!!??” We made about 7 trips around the neighborhood over the course of the morning. Every time we went for a walk the contractions would get 3-5 minutes apart. When I got back to the house I would slow back down to about 5 minutes apart. If I even tried to sit down or get on my hands and knees or side, the contractions would space back out to 10 minutes apart. It was so frustrating!!
At 9am or so the midwife checked me and I had progressed to 6cm and had a bulging bag of waters. I was hoping for more progress but at this point was just trying to get through the next contraction. My hubby was great—he kept assuring me that this is a great labor and that I did have the energy to do it. I was seriously doubting my ability to keep on going. At 11am the midwife checked me and I was only a 7. I asked about possibly bursting my waters and if that would help. She was hesitant and assured me I was making good progress. We decided that we would check again at 1pm and discuss it again then.
At 12:30 I decided to try standing in a warm shower and hoped that relaxing might move things along. It was also the one thing I did to get from 8 to 10 cm with my first baby after stalling out for hours. I half joked that the midwives better be ready because with my last baby I came out of the shower and the baby was crowning. At 1pm I turned off the shower, dried off and went in the bedroom. The contractions had been coming fast and furious and several had hit back to back as I ended the shower and dried off. I was getting pretty pitiful at this point. The midwife checked me and I was fully dialated and she told me I could push if I felt like it. The next contraction hit and I was on my hands and knees. I tried pushing and it really felt a bit better. The baby turned and the labor went from back labor to front labor again. I was able to get 4-5 good pushed with each contraction.
After about an hour of pushing I wasn’t making any progress and I was getting tired. We had tried pushing on my hands and knees, squatting, on my back and on my side. I was ready to give up!! Finally at 2pm I asked my midwife to burst my bag of waters so that we could try and get the baby out. She agreed that this was the best course of action since I was getting so tired and we hadn’t made any progress in the past hour. With the next contraction, she broke my waters—the time was 2:10pm. The amount of water that came out of me was truly amazing. It soaked everything. We were all shocked and surprised. I looked down at my stomach and there was hardly anything there!! I couldn’t believe there was still a baby inside. The next contraction hit and I was overwhelmed by the need to push. This is what I remembered with Elijah—I couldn’t have stopped if I had tried. I started screaming and pushing and really giving it my all. Water was just streaming out of me with every push and I could really feel the baby coming down. The second contraction hit and I was able to get the baby’s head out. I was screaming and begging the midwives to “Help me and Get it out!!” I didn’t remember it hurting that bad with Elijah. My husband was so great. He was just saying “You can do it. This is great. You’re almost there.” He was also breathing with me and made sure I was breathing in and out deeply between contractions. With the third and final contraction, the baby came out. The midwife passed her to me between my legs and I immediately checked to see what we had. A little girl!! We were so surprised—we were both expecting another boy. She was born at 2:20pm.
I turned and sat on the bed and got up against the headboard. There was a lot of bleeding so my husband and I were focusing on getting the baby latched. The midwife gave me a shot of pitocin to try and help my uterus clamp down. Her assistant was giving me herbs to help with the bleeding as well. After a minute or so they gave me another shot of pitocin. After a few minutes I was able to deliver the placenta and we cut the cord. Lydia had latched and the bleeding had slowed down considerably. We had a great time to bond with our little girl and decided after about 30 minutes to go ahead and call our families to come and meet Lydia.
This homebirth was a really positive experience. I was absolutely surprised by the length of the labor and the slowness with which it progressed. I feel so blessed that we had a homebirth because I feel certain that if we were in a hospital I would not have been “allowed” to labor free from intervention. I am also sure that I would not have had the willpower to resist the drugs to speed up labor or to help with the pain. When I look at my darling daughter—born at her own pace, free of drugs in her system, happy, healthy and HUNGRY—I know that we made the right decision.
Lydia Grace Denton
Born after 33.5 hours of labor!!
19 inches long
7lbs 6 oz
13.25 inch head
12.75 inch chest