Thursday, May 28, 2009

Just Tired Out!

We moved the kids in the same room after they were together at the beach since I figured we had suffered through the worst of it. It is s-l-o-w-l-y getting better but they are still up at the crack of dawn and only napping about 30-45 minutes the whole day. I am hoping eventually they will tire out and just sleep. They were lousy sleepers before we moved them in together but now lousy has turned into HORRIBLE! We need them in the same room to make way for baby.

I feel like my whole life has become a quest for sleep and more sleep. I am exhausted and depressed. I am hormonal from the pregnancy, angry that my one and two year old won't sleep, frustrated from dealing with children who are tired and cranky and angry that I am pregnant and will have to go through sleepless nights again with another baby. I haven't bonded with this baby or pregnancy yet--I know it is a blessing from God and that it is the perfect plan for our family but another year of sleepless nights just makes me want to cry. I hate the negativity I feel all the time. I am sure my friends are tired of hearing me say I am tired. I am sure my husband is tired of hearing me say I am tired and having me go to bed at 9pm and scrape myself up every morning. I know I am tired of it.

Please keep us in your prayers. I just want to be able to put the children down for the evening and expect them to sleep until the morning. I want to know if I go to bed at 9pm that I won't have to wake up before 5am with the children. I just want to sleep in big chunks and not feel like I need a nap every second of every day. I want to have energy to play more with the kids and ENJOY the kids instead of secretly hating this time and screaming at them inside my head to stop whining and just sleep.

Sorry for the negativity. Rant over!

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