Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Gypped?

I feel like this poor baby I am growing is getting gypped. With Elijah I was so careful to drink my 2 L of water daily, I never had caffiene and I followed the best diet I could seeing as I was throwing up 6 times a day the whole 9 months. With Lyddie, I was great about taking my vitamins, I drank my water and I ate GREAT since I wasn't sick. With this one, I take my vitamins when I remember (though with my new weekly thingy I remember almost everyday!), drink whatever I want (including large amounts of coffee) and eat nothing but tomatoes and cucumbers because that's what I can keep down. Poor thing!

I am also not excited (yet) about being pregnant. I am not showing at all, I have lost weight, I really want that BABY belly. I am also doing this thing completely differently because of the two hemmorages with my other births. Instead of the personal care of a midwife I am going with the 5 minute visits to an OB who doens't care about me or know me from Adam's housecat. He may or may not deliver the baby--depends on if he is on call. I am going to a hospital to deliver the baby where it is a medical event and NOT a miracle of God.

Today is my first ultrasound out of the 3 pregnancies where we might find out the sex of the baby. I am NOT excited. I talk to my preggo friends and this is one of the hilights of their pregnancy. They can't wait to see their baby and find out what they are having. Maybe its because I didn't find out with the other two or because I like the surprise or I just want to rebel and be different, but I DONT want to know what we're having. I DONT want an ultrasound to find out what possibly might be wrong with the baby. Nothing they find will change the fact that I will carry the pregnancy as long as God allows me to and that we will NEVER terminate a pregnancy--even if it is an 8 legged mutant alien baby, we're keeping it!

Oh well--tune back in later to find out if we found out or if the baby was shy (as I have been hoping).

1 comment:

bethany said...

It must be so disappointing not to be able to have this baby the way that you want to. While I can't ever imagine having a baby at home, I know some people really love that and I'm sorry that it medically can't happen (thought glad that you'll be safe!!). I totally understand what you mean about the five minute dr visits with someone who doesn't care. That's been my biggest problem during the last two pregnancies. I always felt like the whole thing was impersonal. And as for all the optional tests-we didn't do any of them for the same reason you are wary of the ultrasound-termination wasn't a choice no matter what. But I will tell you that I had a friend who went in for her 20 week ultrasound and they found out her baby had a heart condition and it was something they were able to work on in vitro!! Crazy, huh? Then they were also ready with the correct equipment in the room once the baby was born. They said otherwise the baby would have died. That's when I'm glad for modern medicine! I hope that you are feeling better soon--you don't have to find out the sex even with the ultrasound. I've had lots of friends who didn't!