Today I did not force both children to go to the gym with me and stay in childwatch just so I could get a shower and shave my legs. What kind of mommy would do that?? Especially since they were both tired from keeping me up from 1am until this morning.
We then didn't proceed to come home and blow up EJ's new baby pool and play with the hose just to keep them from destroying the house further. I also didn't let my one year old eat 3 tomatoes while I was doing that. I didn't let them play, fully clothed, in said baby pool and then strip them down to enjoy popsicles at 10am in the baby swings. Nope--not around here--no popsicles before noon and certainly no NAKED popsicle eating goes on around here :)
I also didn't forget to check the time and leave my neighbor and her kids on the front porch ringing the bell for 10 minutes while my children enjoyed their popsicles naked. They did find us in the back yard where I proceeded to NOT use the free labor of all the children to pick 25 cups of grapes for juice.
I didn' tlet my neighbor and her kids sweat and help me make 10 quarts of grape juice (and I most certainly didn't pay them in tomatoes, a watermelon, a pumpkin and 3 quarts of their own juice to enjoy).
Both of my kids were wearing absolutely adorable outfits so I could show them off to my neighbor AND my house was spotless. Lydia was certainly NOT running around in just a diaper and then in NOTHING when she decided to take the diaper off. Elijah was NOT wearing his pj pants backwards and no shirt. And my neighbor did NOT have to kick duplos out from under her feet so she could walk to the playroom couch to sit down. Never in my house would there be toys covering every inch of the carpet.
Nope, not around here. This is NOT a typical morning in the Denton household. We're nothing but class and our feet never track grass into the living room and we never forget to flush the toilets and Lydia never offers our guest little quares of toilet paper as a gift.