Tuesday, October 06, 2009

High and Low

Today I got a high--last night I got all my stuff together for consignment and the yard sale on the 17th--felt good. Also got all the laundry done so I could switch out the kids clothing. The productive mood continued despite a horrid night with the kiddos (in which I got less than 2 hours of sleep). First thing I got the empty, labeled totes from teh attic and put up the kids summer stuff and got out the fall/winter clothes. I put them all in the drawers--everything is neat and clean. The kids, despite gettin gup at 5am, were surprisingly helpful and cheerful. We finished the clothes and moved on to the playroom. We straightened up and vacuumed and dusted the downstairs. Lyddie and I vacuumed and dusted the upstairs while EJ veged out. The kids were getting a bit frustrated at this point--they hate not DOING anything--which usually means GOING somewhere. But they were both sicky, tired, grumpy and generally felt crummy. I was foggy tired and didn't feel like driving anywhere and wrestling them.

I tried to convince them to watch a show while I mopped (I normally mop while they are sleeping but I needed to nap today). No go--they were determined to "help" so we mopped, I told them not to walk on the wet spots, they slipped and fell, I cleaned them up, wiped tears, scolded and mopped up the kid-print. Finally I finished and we spent 45 minutes "trapped" in the playroom playing. It was good and not so good. At least I had access to the time-out chair :)

We ate lunch--they ate so good--then at noon they were wiped, I was wiped and we all settled down for a nap. 45 minutes later they were BOTH AWAKE. CRUEL CRUEL CRUEL colds--I hate that the kids don't sleep when they are sick. I almost cried when I realized that it was 1pm and there was no relief for the rest of the afternoon.

We quickly cleaned the bathrooms and I spent the rest of the afternoon disciplining the kids. I was so frustrated with them. They were grouchy and sleepy and horrible!!! I wanted to just call it quits today. Elijah kept hitting, Lyddie kept biting, they were yellin gat each other. It wasn't fun. I didn't like the mommy I was this afternoon. This is my Low. I managed to get dinner cooked and into the kids and they were bathed and almost ready for bed when Justin got home from work. Lyddie was down before I left for class.

I felt horrible--that's two nights in a row she's been in bed before Justin is home from work. She just can't stay up any later--she is exhausted and grouchy and needs to go to bed. I need to figure out how to make her sleep during the day. She is just so stubborn!!

I am ready for tomorrow. Fresh start. New mommy day. Hopefully the kids will sleep (which means I can too) and we will all be in better moods.

I hate that my life is about nothing more than SURVIVING the day rather than enjoying it. The sleep deprivation and pregnancy is really taking its toll on me. I am so hopeful that things will change. I can't wait to be energetic and well rested and fun again. I can't wait to stay up until 10pm and actually interact with my husband rather than sitting next to him dozing on the couch while he flips channels. I want some energy and I want some sleep! Is there such a thing as pre-partum depression? I feel like I have it on days like today. I just want to curl up and cry and cry out-"DO OVER!!"

Thankfully my kiddos love me.

Every day is a DO OVER.

I will try again tomorrow.

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