You might be the mother of a toddler if you find yourself saying any of the following:
"Yes you can wear the horsey costume to Walmart but you have to put on panties first."
"Don't lick the baby."
"Get the ice pack out of your underpants . . . I don't care if it makes your tushie cold."
"Don't put your butt on your sister."
"Don't pee on your sister--I don't care if it splashed off her and back in the potty--that's nasty!"