Saturday, July 16, 2011

Still waiting to cry . . .

I feel like I should be sadder than I am about leaving our house. I haven't cried yet and I am beginning to wonder if I am going to. That house has so many memories! Two of my children were born in the master bedroom. Every Christmas has been celebrated there. We saw firs steps, first words and first teeth for all three kids. I guess I am just ready to move on and be a family again.

The hardest part is that I feel so unemotional about it I'm having trouble empathizing with the kids. Elijah has been throwing tantrums and just generally upset and that, combined with the exhaustion of the past week of moving has just drained me completely.

Yesterday both the older kids were in tears when I told them we couldn't go "home" and that we were staying with granny and then going to "new house" next week. They were sobbing and crying and Lydia said: "I want to go to MY home. IT is where I have always lived and I want to go there." I was calm, I didn't cry and I didn't even feel sad about it--what's wrong with me?? Instead I drove them by to say goodbye to the house and we came home and made rice krispy treats.

Wonder if its gonna hit me when we've moved or not? Maybe I am so confident in our decision I can only look forward to better things and not look back to what has been. . .

No comments: